Yes, I realize that this should have been posted on Saturday. I was busy with my friends. I have no regrets for being loose with the rules.
Waiting proved best. There was an event on Saturday evening that many of you have probably heard of before called the White House Correspondence Dinner. This is a fairly absurd event where members of the press corps that follow and report on the goings-on of the President and the White House get together with the Administration and have a chummy, banter filled evening with hacky jokes and passive aggressive statements lobbed back and forth under the guise of humor; all while trying to convey a moral message of, “Hey, I know we hate each other, and we need each other in order to prosper financially, but let’s give off the impression that we’re all really here to do good, honest work, and that we’re ultimately on the same team.” It’s terribly political theater.
I don’t blame President Trump for not attending. This type of performance art is his specialty. For him this is like going to play in the minor leagues when you’re NOT on a rehab assignment. In light of how our world currently operates, this gig is beneath him. Granted, as Matt Taibbi points out in his piece, the reason that Trump doesn’t attend is most likely because he can’t take a joke (Although, he did pretty well at the Comedy Central Roast. Fuck. I can’t believe I just wrote that sentence and ‘President’ in the same context) and because President Obama was much, much better than he could ever be at delivering humor as it’s intended here.
President Obama, in my opinion, brought the event into the mainstream during his tenure in the White House because he was himself funny. He knew how to deliver a joke. His timing and self deprecation were pretty damn good for someone who doesn’t make a living telling jokes.
As an aside, if you are at all curious as to what it was like to be a speech (and joke) writer for the 44th President of the United States I recommend David Litt’s book. It’s pretty great. A second aside, I substituted this book into my 2018 Reading List which you can also read about. Tired of tangents? Me too. Let’s get into today’s topic, shall we?
You may have noticed yesterday, and into today that there’s been substantial backlash towards Michelle Wolf, the insanely funny comedian who destroyed everyone – on both sides of the political isle – in her near 20 minute performance at the dinner. They are pissed because she was A) funny B) 100% Correct C) fired shots at EVERYONE and D) had the balls to do it to their face and not hold back anything when given the opportunity to perform.
I’m not going to post a bunch of the lame responses and cries of outrage because, who gives a shit? You’re all polishing the brass on the Titanic (phrase taken from Fight Club). We are living in a world so driven by hyperbole that we can’t expect anything but complete and utter absurdity in our public sphere. That’s why for Day 2 I’m posting a quote by me. It was a tweet that I compiled earlier today. It’s at the top of this post.
I wrote it in line with what I’ve just stated. It’s all a farce. Political journalism, Congress, the Presidency. Those shitty mid-90s soap operas were written better than this dumpster fire we call reality.
I also wrote it because above all else I love comedy, specifically stand-up comedy. Michelle’s performance was brilliant. She did her job and she did it well. What did you expect? You want to be outraged? You want apologies? You want to pretend like you have feelings that could actually be hurt? Demand them from the idiot that booked a bull to perform in your precious little china shop. You assholes are so convinced of your own importance that you’ve propped yourselves on the flimsiest soapbox one can make. All it takes is someone who doesn’t give a shit about your precious wink-wink and win-win arrangements to big-bad-wolf that shit right to the ground. It’s gross. You should be ashamed of yourselves for being such complete and useless hypocrites.
As you can tell, this nonsense really gets me going. It touches on a much more terrifying assault on free speech that is brewing in our political discourse that I hope to expand upon later. Until then, I’m going to post a link to Michelle’s time on stage for your viewing pleasure.
I’ll try to lighten things up for Day 3.
Thanks for reading. Cheers.
Sometimes, Things Don’t Suck 
Dear Dylan, I found it so refreshing to read your take on the WHC dinner! This kind of thing really riles me up too! In the “Land of the FREE” the media has a problem with someone speaking her mind over an administration that routinely uses bullying tactics and fear mongering?! I think the for-profit model for news is showing its fallibility. Since this post started from a quote prompt, here was another quote that I read recently by Elliot Lusztig:
“Did you ever imagine we would see a time in America where a major party would declare journalists “enemies of the people” and threaten to imprison them and that journalists themselves would react by trying scrupulously to remain neutral toward their own antagonists?” @ezlusztig via Twitter
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Thank you! It’s so bonkers. It’s hard to compile any sort of analysis, even the amateur sort that we participate in here, because things seem so backwards and upside down.
You know those video clips where they’ll show a Moose that wandered into a Target parking lot and he’s looking around just as confused about how he got there as the soccer mom unloading her minivan? That’s what I feel like everyday.
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That brilliant moose metaphor had me spitting coffee on my keyboard while rotflmao! 🤣🤣🤣
(Which, when you think about it, is quite a trick. 😉 )
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In a world where Honey-fucking-Boo-Boo became a celebrity….nothing fucking surprises me.
Killer post, Dylan!!!
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Thanks! Yeah, it’s intense. I’ve consciously stayed away from commenting on specifics such as this because I don’t feel that I have the energy or emotional stability to compile a though-piece that I would be proud of. There is part of me that can’t wait until I’m much older and young folk ask me about this time in our history and my response will be, “it was straight up Bananas, man!”
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I know that feeling….except I am already creeping close to the point where younglings are asking me LOL.
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Hahahaha.
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Awesome post Dylan!!!!!
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Thank you!
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👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I have to admit, I still haven’t seen the video. You sent me a text link, you’ve posted links, I’ve seen them everywhere, I’ve read all about it, and yet … I haven’t watched the actual event. But seeing as how this is Thursday and you posted this on Tuesday about an event on (was it?) Saturday (during which, we were partying like university students), I have to admit that I’m running a good bit behind this week. I guess 2 consecutive 3 am Saturday-night parties throw my game off longer than it used to.
But, now, I digress.
I’m going to watch the video today. Scout’s honor. (I don’t have to say “Boy Scout’s” honor, anymore 😝). I have the day off, the surgery for Moxie, and I will have some free time. I hope. 20 consecutive minutes alone without an interruption. Why is that so hard to get these days?
All that aside, I have some takes. Wanna hear ’em? Too bad.
(1) Aren’t we living in the era of “anything goes”? “Fuck political correctness, you pansies!” and all that. Didn’t we elect the Insulter-in-Chief on the very premise that we shouldn’t judge a leader (or anyone else) just because they say mean things. When did the conservatives become the snowflakes? Michelle Wolf is simply making funny great again. #MFGA
(2) I kind of see their point. I think we need to move beyond the era of anything goes and get back to a point of civility. Anybody who can’t do that should be kicked out of their current authoritative or ceremonial positions. Let’s start right at the top with Lyin’ Don.
(3) I kind of (actually, definitely) see your point, too. Journalists, quit trying to be celebrities. Hell, politicians and political cronies, stop that, too. You, report the news. You, lead the country. Everyone do their fucking job and do it honestly. Let’s get this sad era over with and get on with the business of making humanity and its home great, at last (#MHAIHGAL). Leave the jokes to the professionals. Leave the biting commentary to the bloggers.
(4) I love you, man. Let’s get a beer.
P.S. I usually like to leave a pithy afternote in this section, but I’ve already railed on too long and have many more things to catch up on before taking the dog in. So, just imagine I did something clever here and chuckle mildly. Really, what was going to be here deserves no more than that.
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